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Entry tags:
SUCKER
SUCKER
1615w; pg-13 (sana/dowoon, daytwice ensemble)
in all honesty, there were worse ways their relationship could've ended. sana and dowoon's.
So it goes like this: Jeongyeon's already doing a horrible job of convincing Sana and Mina to go to her and Nayeon's house party over coffee. Well, mostly Sana; there's a tacit understanding between them that Mina's – as a true anomaly of Mendelian Genomics – a crossbreed between a hermit and a flake, and just dragging her out of that tiny, sterile apartment of hers for this used up the better part of Sana's Saturday. Mina looks slightly miserable now, staring into the depths of her nitrobrew, but that might just be because the corners of her lips are naturally downturned. Sana shoots her a reassuring smile when Jeongyeon's not looking that says same.
To make matters worse – "It'll be just like when we were in college," Jeongyeon continues as Sana pretends her grimace is from another acidic sip of her iced black coffee. To be fair, it's relatively horrible. "Like, Sungjin's coming, Brian's coming, Wonpil's coming, Jae – I don't remember if he's in the States now or what, actually – Chan, Jihyo, Momo..."
And Sana's about to open her mouth and decline the invitation when everything truly hits rock bottom. "And Yoon Dowoon," Jeongyeon polishes off with a sip of her own pricey latte. "You in?"
Mina gives Sana a look that probably says something like, don't do something dumb. Probably because instead of looking back, Sana finally concedes, reaches over the table for a sugar packet, and dumps the whole thing into her coffee.
She stirs it in with her straw. Sips it. Much better. "What time did you say it was again?"
Here's the thing – Sana was kind of a mess in college. 'Mess' as in she's dated over half of Jeongyeon and Nayeon's supposed guest list, which was basically a good part of their friend group back in the day, which made things, on a normal basis over the course of a semester, relationship status complicated for them all.
Sana has also made it her goal after graduating to become an upstanding working adult which meant, until a couple hours ago: 1) willingly avoiding all situations that could possibly put her face-to-face with any of her exes, and 2) cutting out simple carbs from her diet. Unfortunately –
"It's been two years!" she sighs over the phone, flopping onto her bed. "Why would they even wanna meet up with their friends from uni? Jae's like..." Sana makes a face. "A grandpa at this point."
Momo laughs that squeaky laugh of hers on the other side of the line. "They were in that band together," she points out. "And you're calling me right now. And you told Jeongyeon that you're going. Do you really want her and Nayeon hounding you for the rest of your life for bailing?"
Sana thinks about it. There was that time during third year when she promised Nayeon they'd study for their Communications midterm together, accidentally forgot, and then Nayeon spam-called her over and over again when she and Chan were making out in her and Momo's dorm room. "Is she like your mom or something?" Chan nervously tried to joke after witnessing Sana get fed up with the ringing, pick up the call, and scream for Nayeon to stop bothering them before hanging up and innocently smiling back at him where were we again? According to Jihyo, he's still afraid of her. "Ugh," Sana groans to Momo now, covering her face with a hand. "You're right."
Momo laughs again. "Are you still that not over Yoon Dowoon?" she starts. "Even after everybody told you that – "
Oh god. "Oops," Sana cuts her off suddenly. "I just remembered I forgot to water my succulent. We'll talk later, okay, at the party? Love you!"
"I thought you said it died five months ago!" is the last thing Momo yells into the receiver before Sana hangs up the call.
In all honesty, there were worse ways their relationship could've ended, Sana and Dowoon's. For instance, they could've been like Nayeon and Brian, who, starting from Sana's third year, had some kind of open relationship that Sana never really quite got the gist of until they'd started having threeways with Jeongyeon. A month later, Nayeon dumped Brian for her and Brian wrote, like, twenty break-up power ballads over it. Sana only knows this because she heard all of said ballads, except instead of watching Brian mournfully headbanging on his side of the stage, she'd been focused on the drummer in the back, lost in the beats he'd been playing.
"Hey," she said after they'd finished their set and walked back out into the bar. He'd looked at her wide-eyed, like she'd caught him off-guard. "You were really good up there." She stuck out her hand and he looked at it as if it would suddenly morph into a crocodile and eat him alive. "I'm Sana," she told him, with her most disarming smile.
"Dowoon," he replied. And when he spoke, his mouth did this funny pursing thing that Sana thought was adorable. He took the hand.
In all honesty, their relationship ended like this: it didn't. Dowoon went in for his military service and Sana texted him twice a week. And after the first month, Sana never got a reply. Cue an interlude of Sana having some weird rebound moment with Brian which ended with –
"Who're you texting?" she asked when Brian started laughing at his phone in the middle of dinner. They were sitting on the floor of her new apartment with Chinese takeout.
Brian looked at her quizzically. "Dowoon sent something in the group chat," he said carefully, as if she should've already known. "You haven't seen it?"
"Oh." The jjajangmyeon suddenly tasted bitter. "Nope." The next week, she broke things off with him, stating the classic it's me, not you.
Because the thing is: Sana dated Dowoon because she thought he was sincere. Like, every time she told him, "I like you," he'd turn red in the face and sputter out a, "Me – me too," as if he wore his so-crookedly-stitched-until-it-didn't-look-like-one heart on his sleeve. And Sana liked that about him. She'd never been good at sewing, anyway.
And for all Sana dated in her uni days, for the most part, she's gotten over the break-ups. And then, she guesses, there's Yoon Dowoon.
"Hey."
Dowoon nearly spits out his punch onto the now-abandoned beer pong table. Instead, he puts down his cup, blinks slowly, and swallows it. "Hi Sana," he manages nervously.
The thing about Dowoon is that you put him behind a set of drums and he's like a fish in water. Take him out from there and it's a little more like a goldfish flapping on concrete, except less sad and a million times more awkward. Sana kind of forgot about that, but she powers on anyway. "Can we talk?" she says, less like a question than a demand.
Dowoon's eyes dart around. He wipes his palms on his hoodie, the same one he lent Sana once after they walked back to the dorms from the bus stop one night and a lot of very unsubtle hinting from Sana that she was freezing. It'd been July. "Can I say no?" he mumbles. He looks like he wants Jeongyeon and Nayeon's linoleum floor to open up and swallow him whole.
Sana takes that as her cue to go on. She crosses her arms across her chest. "Don't you owe me an apology?" she asks, a little incredulous.
Dowoon frowns, confused. "I'm...sorry?" he says. "What am I sorry for?"
Oh god. "For never replying to me once you started your military service? For deleting my number off your phone? For not adding me to that stupid group chat everyone else is in?" Sana feels her face heating up from all the yelling. "Was our relationship a joke to you?"
Dowoon opens his mouth. Closes it. Aptly, he looks like a fish gulping for breath out of water. "Umm," he starts, pupils doing that darting thing again. "Wonpil said you didn't want to talk to me."
"I don't," Sana confirms. "I just want some – I don't know – some closure?"
Dowoon scratches the back of his neck. His hair's grown out a little from the buzz cut she'd seen in Brian's Instagram photos, captioned our little bro's a real man now! The last picture in the set had been a video of him trying to move down a hallway in a rolly office chair. "I lost my phone after the first month in," he says. "And by the time I had my break and went out to buy a new one, everyone said that you hated me. And I – I could've called you but," he does this weird drumming thing with his fingers on the beer pong table, like an awkward intermission to his thought. "You're...scary sometimes. Like..." he swallows again, "right now. Haha."
"Oh." Sana takes a moment to process that. "So you never broke up with me?"
"No?" He does that pursing thing with his mouth. "Did you...want me to?"
"No," Sana says, taking a step closer to him. And then another. And then Dowoon's face starts going pink, even in the dim lighting of Jeongyeon and Nayeon's living room. "I didn't want you to." What Sana really wants is for Dowoon to kiss her.
Instead, he replies, "Cool." He's still doing that weird drumming thing on the table. Sana doesn't know why she expected anything less. "Haha."
Sana tip-toes up, kisses him herself, upstanding adulthood rules be damned. Lucky for her, he takes to that like a fish in water, exactly when it counts.
1615w; pg-13 (sana/dowoon, daytwice ensemble)
in all honesty, there were worse ways their relationship could've ended. sana and dowoon's.
So it goes like this: Jeongyeon's already doing a horrible job of convincing Sana and Mina to go to her and Nayeon's house party over coffee. Well, mostly Sana; there's a tacit understanding between them that Mina's – as a true anomaly of Mendelian Genomics – a crossbreed between a hermit and a flake, and just dragging her out of that tiny, sterile apartment of hers for this used up the better part of Sana's Saturday. Mina looks slightly miserable now, staring into the depths of her nitrobrew, but that might just be because the corners of her lips are naturally downturned. Sana shoots her a reassuring smile when Jeongyeon's not looking that says same.
To make matters worse – "It'll be just like when we were in college," Jeongyeon continues as Sana pretends her grimace is from another acidic sip of her iced black coffee. To be fair, it's relatively horrible. "Like, Sungjin's coming, Brian's coming, Wonpil's coming, Jae – I don't remember if he's in the States now or what, actually – Chan, Jihyo, Momo..."
And Sana's about to open her mouth and decline the invitation when everything truly hits rock bottom. "And Yoon Dowoon," Jeongyeon polishes off with a sip of her own pricey latte. "You in?"
Mina gives Sana a look that probably says something like, don't do something dumb. Probably because instead of looking back, Sana finally concedes, reaches over the table for a sugar packet, and dumps the whole thing into her coffee.
She stirs it in with her straw. Sips it. Much better. "What time did you say it was again?"
Here's the thing – Sana was kind of a mess in college. 'Mess' as in she's dated over half of Jeongyeon and Nayeon's supposed guest list, which was basically a good part of their friend group back in the day, which made things, on a normal basis over the course of a semester, relationship status complicated for them all.
Sana has also made it her goal after graduating to become an upstanding working adult which meant, until a couple hours ago: 1) willingly avoiding all situations that could possibly put her face-to-face with any of her exes, and 2) cutting out simple carbs from her diet. Unfortunately –
"It's been two years!" she sighs over the phone, flopping onto her bed. "Why would they even wanna meet up with their friends from uni? Jae's like..." Sana makes a face. "A grandpa at this point."
Momo laughs that squeaky laugh of hers on the other side of the line. "They were in that band together," she points out. "And you're calling me right now. And you told Jeongyeon that you're going. Do you really want her and Nayeon hounding you for the rest of your life for bailing?"
Sana thinks about it. There was that time during third year when she promised Nayeon they'd study for their Communications midterm together, accidentally forgot, and then Nayeon spam-called her over and over again when she and Chan were making out in her and Momo's dorm room. "Is she like your mom or something?" Chan nervously tried to joke after witnessing Sana get fed up with the ringing, pick up the call, and scream for Nayeon to stop bothering them before hanging up and innocently smiling back at him where were we again? According to Jihyo, he's still afraid of her. "Ugh," Sana groans to Momo now, covering her face with a hand. "You're right."
Momo laughs again. "Are you still that not over Yoon Dowoon?" she starts. "Even after everybody told you that – "
Oh god. "Oops," Sana cuts her off suddenly. "I just remembered I forgot to water my succulent. We'll talk later, okay, at the party? Love you!"
"I thought you said it died five months ago!" is the last thing Momo yells into the receiver before Sana hangs up the call.
In all honesty, there were worse ways their relationship could've ended, Sana and Dowoon's. For instance, they could've been like Nayeon and Brian, who, starting from Sana's third year, had some kind of open relationship that Sana never really quite got the gist of until they'd started having threeways with Jeongyeon. A month later, Nayeon dumped Brian for her and Brian wrote, like, twenty break-up power ballads over it. Sana only knows this because she heard all of said ballads, except instead of watching Brian mournfully headbanging on his side of the stage, she'd been focused on the drummer in the back, lost in the beats he'd been playing.
"Hey," she said after they'd finished their set and walked back out into the bar. He'd looked at her wide-eyed, like she'd caught him off-guard. "You were really good up there." She stuck out her hand and he looked at it as if it would suddenly morph into a crocodile and eat him alive. "I'm Sana," she told him, with her most disarming smile.
"Dowoon," he replied. And when he spoke, his mouth did this funny pursing thing that Sana thought was adorable. He took the hand.
In all honesty, their relationship ended like this: it didn't. Dowoon went in for his military service and Sana texted him twice a week. And after the first month, Sana never got a reply. Cue an interlude of Sana having some weird rebound moment with Brian which ended with –
"Who're you texting?" she asked when Brian started laughing at his phone in the middle of dinner. They were sitting on the floor of her new apartment with Chinese takeout.
Brian looked at her quizzically. "Dowoon sent something in the group chat," he said carefully, as if she should've already known. "You haven't seen it?"
"Oh." The jjajangmyeon suddenly tasted bitter. "Nope." The next week, she broke things off with him, stating the classic it's me, not you.
Because the thing is: Sana dated Dowoon because she thought he was sincere. Like, every time she told him, "I like you," he'd turn red in the face and sputter out a, "Me – me too," as if he wore his so-crookedly-stitched-until-it-didn't-look-like-one heart on his sleeve. And Sana liked that about him. She'd never been good at sewing, anyway.
And for all Sana dated in her uni days, for the most part, she's gotten over the break-ups. And then, she guesses, there's Yoon Dowoon.
"Hey."
Dowoon nearly spits out his punch onto the now-abandoned beer pong table. Instead, he puts down his cup, blinks slowly, and swallows it. "Hi Sana," he manages nervously.
The thing about Dowoon is that you put him behind a set of drums and he's like a fish in water. Take him out from there and it's a little more like a goldfish flapping on concrete, except less sad and a million times more awkward. Sana kind of forgot about that, but she powers on anyway. "Can we talk?" she says, less like a question than a demand.
Dowoon's eyes dart around. He wipes his palms on his hoodie, the same one he lent Sana once after they walked back to the dorms from the bus stop one night and a lot of very unsubtle hinting from Sana that she was freezing. It'd been July. "Can I say no?" he mumbles. He looks like he wants Jeongyeon and Nayeon's linoleum floor to open up and swallow him whole.
Sana takes that as her cue to go on. She crosses her arms across her chest. "Don't you owe me an apology?" she asks, a little incredulous.
Dowoon frowns, confused. "I'm...sorry?" he says. "What am I sorry for?"
Oh god. "For never replying to me once you started your military service? For deleting my number off your phone? For not adding me to that stupid group chat everyone else is in?" Sana feels her face heating up from all the yelling. "Was our relationship a joke to you?"
Dowoon opens his mouth. Closes it. Aptly, he looks like a fish gulping for breath out of water. "Umm," he starts, pupils doing that darting thing again. "Wonpil said you didn't want to talk to me."
"I don't," Sana confirms. "I just want some – I don't know – some closure?"
Dowoon scratches the back of his neck. His hair's grown out a little from the buzz cut she'd seen in Brian's Instagram photos, captioned our little bro's a real man now! The last picture in the set had been a video of him trying to move down a hallway in a rolly office chair. "I lost my phone after the first month in," he says. "And by the time I had my break and went out to buy a new one, everyone said that you hated me. And I – I could've called you but," he does this weird drumming thing with his fingers on the beer pong table, like an awkward intermission to his thought. "You're...scary sometimes. Like..." he swallows again, "right now. Haha."
"Oh." Sana takes a moment to process that. "So you never broke up with me?"
"No?" He does that pursing thing with his mouth. "Did you...want me to?"
"No," Sana says, taking a step closer to him. And then another. And then Dowoon's face starts going pink, even in the dim lighting of Jeongyeon and Nayeon's living room. "I didn't want you to." What Sana really wants is for Dowoon to kiss her.
Instead, he replies, "Cool." He's still doing that weird drumming thing on the table. Sana doesn't know why she expected anything less. "Haha."
Sana tip-toes up, kisses him herself, upstanding adulthood rules be damned. Lucky for her, he takes to that like a fish in water, exactly when it counts.